daveyoufool:

So I saw this cute girl going down the street with an amazing ass. I was all “DAMN GIRL, YOU GOT AN AMAZING ASS.” She was like “thanks, there’s a sale across the block, I got him there.” Now I have a pet donkey too, he was five bucks and his name is Leopold. And he hates thunderstorms.

(Source: dave-youfool)

86,434 notes

pika-brew:

memeguy-com:

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

pika-brew:

memeguy-com:

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

615,663 notes

corinnestark:

sharipep:

Marge is such a great mom

She gets it. 

(Source: sandandglass)

748,839 notes

lameborghini:

life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house

262,242 notes

dadsofficial:

j5h:

nicedildo:

when a book introduces a hot new character but they die like 2 pages later

image

how do you know they’re hot if it’s in a book

Have you never read a book before?

52,741 notes

crazyanimals:

ke$ha’s mom gives thanks to her daughter for washing her first dish

crazyanimals:

ke$ha’s mom gives thanks to her daughter for washing her first dish

91,837 notes

spontaneouskam:

 ・゚:*✧・゚:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ I just want someone to pin me down and give me lots of hickeys and bruises and make me moan and scratch me up and totally dominate me.  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

94,547 notes